#guess how many things i've ordered since august

[harringtonesque]

okay so. if you order some books from a publisher (like. a big, well known publisher.) on the internet and they send an email saying your order is dispatched and the courier sends you an email saying they are expecting your parcel to be given to them but the tracking status never updates from the courier expecting the parcel but not having it. and you email the publisher to ask hey can you just give me a little update. check if something is wrong. it seems like something is wrong here please can someone just check and let me know. (and you're so nice about it all too.) and the publisher just. doesn't fucking reply bar an automated 'an agent will be in touch with you soon' message.

what do you do then????

[wraith-apologist]

Medical Considerations - Stargate SG-1/Atlantis The Official Magazine #11, August 2006

I'm not sure how good the image quality is going to be after upload so the story is under the cut as well for easier reading

Also it says "goes back to season 4" but to me this definitely reads as early season 1? Anyways, enjoy

Like so many jobs, being a doctor has its ups and downs. Moments you treasure... and moments you wish you could forget. This moment? Aaaah... this moment was one for the record books. Our redoubtable Colonel O'Neill was lying prone on an infirmary bed. With some difficulty I'd persuaded him to remove his ruined combat trousers. And his boots. And his socks. The only thing missing was the bear skin rug. I'd've grabbed a camera - if only I weren't sure he'd tie my arms in a pretzel for trying... 

Oh well. A girl can dream. 

Face buried in his folded arms, the colonel said, muffled: "I can't believe it, Carter. You shot me in the ass." 

On the other side of the curtained cubicle, Sam cleared her throat. "I'm so sorry, Colonel. Really." 

"In the ass, Carter," he repeated. "I had no idea it was that big a target." 

"If it helps, sir, I wasn't aiming at you. I was aiming at Daniel." 

"Oh, thank you very much," said an aggrieved Daniel Jackson, also on the other side of the curtain. "I-" 

"No, Captain, it doesn't help," said the colonel, ruthlessly interrupting. He does that when he's peeved. "Daniel's ass is twice the size of mine. You know, this exercise was meant for his benefit, but if you've been glued to a microscope so long you can't-" 

"Telescope, sir," said Sam, interrupting right back as Daniel protested incoherently. "I'm an astrophysicist, not a biologist. But I kept up my weapons' ratings. 97 per cent accuracy last practice session." 

Interesting. Jack O'Neill has one of the most dominant personalities I've ever met. To survive everything he's survived, I guess it's a prerequisite. But Captain Samantha Carter was still a mystery to me. Even on a good day it's tough for women in the military; for her to survive not only the hazards of stargate travel but the overwhelming force of nature named Colonel Jack O'Neill, she'd have to be more than terrifyingly intelligent. A lot more. 

I confess, I'd been a bit worried about Sam Carter. But hearing her stand up to the colonel I stopped worrying and started smiling. 

Making sure he couldn't see me, of course. 

The colonel snorted. "97 per cent, captain? Mine was 99.5, and thereby lands a paintball in the ass!" 

"Actually, Jack, you're being unfair," said Daniel, coherent again. "I was facing Captain Carter when you were shot, and you crossed her line of fire. Not on purpose, obviously, but you were so keen to shoot me and I'm trying very hard not to take that personally, by the way I don't think you realized your position." 

Well, well. So here was someone else not in awe of our intimidating colonel. Interesting. Especially since O'Neill wasn't biting Daniel's head off for daring to question his expertise in public and in front of a subordinate. 

"Daniel Jackson is correct, O'Neill," said SG-1's fourth and most unusual member. "You did indeed present your ass as a target. Perhaps retirement has affected you more than you realise." 

The colonel tensed at that, but said nothing. I was amazed all over again. Not only that Teal'c would say it, but that O'Neill would accept it. It meant he was rattled; something you didn't see every day. 

Time to put him out of his various miseries. "Actually, if we're going to be accurate, it was the colonel's hip that was hit, not his ass," I said briskly. "Now since you three are unhurt I suggest you forget the Greek Chorus routine and let me do my job." And even though I was being perfectly pleasant, I made sure there was just enough doctor in my voice they couldn't mistake an order for a suggestion. 

"Okay," said Sam. "Sir, we'll see you later. And again, I really am sorry." 

"Forget it, Carter," said the colonel. "Vamoose, and get that paint washed off. Baby puke yellow isn't your color." 

The rest of SG-1 obediently vamoosed, and I got down to business. The paintball round had hit O'Neill directly on a knot of ugly scar tissue. As I probed the surrounding blotched bruise he sucked air in hard between his teeth. 

"Sorry," I murmured. "I guess sleeping dogs don't like being woken." 

"Not so much," he admitted. "Perhaps it wasn't such a good idea to juice up the paintball charges after all, hmm?" 

It was the hip he'd damaged falling out of the sky over Iraq. Just one of many insults his body has endured over the years, that very few people know anything about. On the base, only General Hammond and I are privy to that information. It's a dubious honor. Reading Jack O'Neill's medical file almost turned my hair white. 

"There's no damage, as such," 

I assured him. "The paintball's impact excited the nerves, that's all. I'll give you a shot of meperidine, apply some heat, and you'll be fine." 

"Whatever. Just get me out of here." 

"Teal'c is right, you know," I said, taking a risk. "You've been off active duty for over a year. You might want to ease back into this. Tread lightly. Not just for your sake, but for Dr Jackson's, too." 

"Joining SG1 was Daniel's idea. I warned him it'd be sink or swim. If you think I'm going to cut him any slack just because he's a civilian playing catch-up you didn't read my file closely enough." 

I worry about Daniel. Quietly distraught, grieving for his lost Sha're, he spends every waking moment trying to prove he's good enough for SG1. Trying to measure up to Jack O'Neill. "Trust me, Colonel," I snapped. 

"I read every last syllable. All I'm saying is -"

"Irrelevant." The colonel shifted his head, revealing one unenthusiastic eye. "Besides, He won't thank me for treading lightly. He wants his wife back." 

I sighed. "I know." 

"Then act like it. Doctor." 

Which neatly put paid to that conversation. 

I turned my attention to his physical well-being. Painkillers, heat packs and rest did the trick. I didn't see SG1 again till two days later, when they turned up in the infirmary for a standard pre-mission physical. 

"You're going to P7X-882?" I said, inspecting Daniel's tonsils. "Why? I thought SG4 already declared the planet abandoned and unprofitable?" 

"They did," said Sam, as she pressed cotton wool against the needle hole in her arm. "That's why it's perfect." 

"For?" 

"A little serious combat training," said Colonel O'Neill. 

As Daniel pulled a face at the taste of the tongue-depressor I'd just dropped into the bin I said, "Not a bad idea. But why take it off-world?" 

"That was my suggestion," Teal'c answered. "The terrain surrounding Cheyenne Mountain is well known to SGC personnel. For a true testing we should conduct exercises on unfamiliar territory." 

It made sense. It also made me antsy. "Just you four? Or will this be a multi-team extravaganza?" 

"Only us this time," said the colonel. "If it turns out to be a good training ground Hammond's keen to establish larger scale skirmishes." 

"If I recall, P7X-882 is a pretty harsh place."

"Which would be why I picked it," said the colonel, teeth bared in a smile. "Now can we go?" 

He was walking just fine again, Daniel's tonsils were pink and healthy. Sam's blood pressure was a textbook 120/80 and Teal'c was ... Teal'c. "Yes. Go. Have fun. And come back in one piece," I added as they reached the infirmary door. "Don't go falling over any cliffs." 

God. Me and my big mouth. 

The next morning I was catching up on paperwork when my phone rang. 

"We have a situation, Doctor Frasier," said General Hammond. "Report to the embarkation room." 

I dropped my pen, kicked over the chair and ran. 

"It's Daniel," said Sam via the MALP's remote feed. She looked filthy and exhausted and worried to death. "He fell through a crevasse into a cave and he's pinned under a rock. Teal'c tried to free him but we need portable lifting equipment to get him out." 

"What's his condition?" I asked. 

"No internal injuries or broken bones but he's pretty banged up and I'm sure he's concussed. I've done what I can but he needs a doctor before he's moved." 

I exchanged a look with the general, who leaned into the camera. "Captain, I'm sending you SG-5 and Doctor Frasier. Is the rest of SG1 all right?" 

"We're fine, sir. Just hurry, please. It'll be dark in a few hours." She cut the connection. "I'd like to take a med team, too, General," I said. "Just in case." 

"Take whoever you need," said Hammond. "Off-world protocols, Doctor. You've got half an hour." 

Thirty minutes isn't long enough to prep two teams for 'gate travel, but I didn't argue. SG5 and my team stepped out of the wormhole onto P7X-882 42 minutes later. Sam was waiting for us, almost dancing on the spot with impatience. There was dried blood on her hands, her face, her fatigues. 

"I'm fine,” she said as she hurried us towards a distant stunted treeline. The surrounding terrain was brown, barren, rocky. The air was thin and dry, the single sun low and burning. "Most of it's Daniel's.”

That conjured unpleasant images. "How is he?" 

"Hanging in there.” She toggled her vest radio. "Colonel, it's Carter. We're on our way." 

Crackly, distorted, the colonel replied. "Make it snappy. Teal'c's hurt now." 

Sam said something very unladylike under her breath. "Copy that, sir. See you soon." 

"How far, Captain?" said Major Barlow, SG-5's team leader. 

"A little under three miles," Sam replied, and glanced at the equipment-laden members of his team. "Sorry." 

Barlow just grunted, and picked up the pace. 

We heard Daniel before we saw him. Some trick of the cave he was trapped in amplified his voice, which escaped from the crevasse he'd fallen through. 

"What? That translates as 'The parrot of my great-aunt is limping'! You've read it wrong, Jack! Try again!" 

Teal'c sat on a boulder nearby. The left side of his face was smeared with blood from a vicious scalp wound high above his eye. When he saw us he stood and shouted down to the cave below. "They are here, O'Neill!" 

"Good!" the colonel shouted back. "Send them down quick, before I kill Daniel!" 

I tried to look at Teal'c's wound, but he blocked the effort. "My symbiote heals me. You must attend to Daniel Jackson." 

"I will," I said. "If you'll show me how to reach him." 

The rocky plateau we stood on was humped and riven with crevasses, scattered with boulders large and small. "He is down there," said Teal'c, pointing. One side of the crevasse he indicated was newly scarred, its old lip had broken away, revealing fresh pink stone veined with a purple mineral I didn't recognize. "I will lower you to him by rope. But you must be extremely careful. The cave is unstable." 

Great. As SG5 unpacked the equipment they'd humped from the 'gate I told my med team to stand by, tied the climbing rope round me in an abseiler's cradle, took an extra-tight hold of my medkit and let Teal'c lower me through the crevasse to my patient. 

The cave's interior was dimly lit with field lamps, enough so I could see Daniel pinned ankle to mid-chest beneath a single slab of fallen rock, and Colonel O'Neill crouched beside him. Cleaned of blood, Daniel's drawn face was cut and bruised and his eyes were unfocused. 

"You don't need me, do you?" said the colonel, straightening as I touched the rubble- strewn cave floor. 

Like Sam, he looked exhausted. Bloody. Caked with dirt. I didn't bother trying to check him over. "No," I said, and handed him the rope. Moments later he was being hauled out of the cave and it was just me and Daniel. 

"Hey there, Dr Jackson," I said, kneeling beside him. "How are you doing?" 

"I've been better," he whispered. "Is Jack gone?" 

I locked up, to see the colonel's boots disappearing through the crevasse. "Yes." 

"Good," he said, and started shaking. "Sorry, sorry," he stuttered, teeth chattering. "God, how embarrassing..." 

"It's okay, you're in shock," I soothed him as I checked his pulse, his color, his capillary refill. "Does it hurt when you breathe? Or when I do this? This? This?" 

It didn't. There were no broken bones or squished internal organs. Bruises aplenty, and some nasty scrapes and cuts, definitely a concussion, but otherwise he was intact. Thank God. The large rock holding him fast to the cave floor hadn't crushed him, just sat balanced on smaller rocks and pinned him down like a cat's paw, too heavy to be lifted even by someone as strong as Teal'c. 

Mindful of his rattled brain, I gave him a light painkiller to take the edge off things. Punching the needle through his skin I said, "What were you translating?" 

Daniel turned his head a little, lifted his free arm and pointed. "It's cuneiform. Related to the Hittite language, I think. Here, of all places. Miraculous." 

The ancient writing had been carved into the cave wall. Lots and lots of mysterious symbols that made as much sense to me as crow-tracks in snow. To Daniel, it was like reading the morning newspaper. Incredible. 

"How did you find -" 

"We were playing military Hide and Seek," Daniel said, his teeth still chattering. "I was running over the plateau and I tripped. Came down beside the crevasse. When I realized there was a cave underneath I couldn't not investigate. Used one of my flares. Don't tell Jack. I saw the inscriptions - tried to get a better look - and the edge of the crevasse gave way." 

"You could've been killed," I scolded. He managed a smile. "But I wasn't. And I found this." His blurry eyes again tried to focus on his discovery. 

"Fool's luck," I said. "With emphasis on the 'fool'." Despite the circumstances, I laughed. "And only you would be worried about accurate translations at a time like this." 

He flinched, and suddenly there were tears in his eyes. "I was distracting myself." 

His distress was more than plain shock, or the mild pain of his injuries. I leaned closer, resting my hand against his cheek. "Daniel, what's wrong? You can tell me, it's doctor-patient privilege. Is there something you haven't -" 

"My parents," he whispered. His undamaged fingers groped for mine. "They died like this. Crushed. When I was little. I was there..." 

Oh, dear God. "Daniel, I'm so sorry. But you're safe now, and we're getting you out of here." 

He nodded. "I know. I know. It's just..." 

I held his hand and crooned nonsense as he battled his demon memory. Overhead, the others' voices rose and fell in spirited debate, working out how best to rescue him. 

"Don't tell Jack," he said at last. "He doesn't need more grief." The ghost of a smile touched his lips. Affectionate. Regretful. "He'll tear me a new one for this but he really blames himself. He always does, when someone gets hurt." 

I suspected as much, given his personal history, but it was interesting to have Daniel confirm my hunch. As hard as he argued with the colonel - and they really did go at it sometimes - I'd sensed beneath the passionate opposition an unexpected vein of protectiveness. Observed a kind of watchful concern that couldn't be explained by current events. 

Daniel knew something about Jack O'Neill that I, with all my impressive security clearances and access, didn't. Something I was certain involved the first mission to Abydos. Boy, did I want to know what it was. 

"If he starts yelling at me," said Daniel, "let him. Okay? It'll make him feel better." 

Before I could answer, the colonel dropped smoothly back into the cave. "We're ready. Is he stable enough to be moved, doc?"

"Yes. Provided you take it easy."

"Then stand back. This'll be tricky." I squashed myself into the farthest corner of the cave, up against Daniel's precious cuneiform, and watched as a cramped and crowded O'Neill, Teal'c and half of SG5 performed the sweaty, delicate extraction, assisted by Sam and the rest of SG5 up on the plateau. A couple of times my heart stopped, but thanks to Teal'c disaster was averted. 

Those inscriptions weren't the only miracle in that cave, let me tell you. 

At last Daniel was freed. After another swift medical assessment - our resident archeologist's bruises would've taken first prize in a modern art exhibition - I saw him secured in a harness and lifted to safety. Then I grabbed hold of the rope and followed him up. 

The last light was fading fast; we'd need torches to get back to the 'gate. Efficient as ever, my med team already had Daniel strapped to the evac stretcher. He wasn't happy about it. "I'm fine, I can walk, you don't have to carry-" 

"Daniel!" barked Colonel O'Neill. "The only thing stopping me from knocking you on your ass and shooting you green and orange with my paintball gun is you staying horizontal on that damned stretcher!" 

Daniel tried to sit up. "Look, Jack-"

"Daniel!" 

Daniel subsided, grumbling. All right, all right. There's no need to yell." In the fading light I caught his swift, secret glance in my direction. The faintest of shadows still haunted his eyes, but his lips quirked. "I'm not deaf." 

"You're damned lucky you're not dead, moron," was the colonel's sympathetic reply. "Now let's get the hell out of here. I'm missing The Simpsons, thanks to you." 

Sam insisted on taking one end of the stretcher. Teal'c took the other. I nodded at the med team and they fell in behind. SG5 took point, torches blazing the path back to the stargate. As the expedition moved out Colonel O'Neill touched my elbow. 

"You're sure he's okay?" 

In combat boots I'm knee-high to a grasshopper. Staring up at him, perilously close to cricking my neck, I said calmly, "Of course. D'you think I'd let you yell at him if he wasn't?" 

The colonel looked worn down. On edge. There were shadows in his eyes, too. Unpleasant memories. But even so, his expression was rueful. Resigned. Beneath the surface tension, aggravated affection. “He'll want to come back here, you know. He'll nag nonstop until I get Hammond to greenlight a mission exploring every last damned cave looking for chicken scratchings on the walls. Cuneiform!" He made a sound of disgust. "What is that? It's not even a proper word!" 

I grinned. "You're very fond of Daniel, aren't you, Colonel?" 

"Fond?" Another derisive snort. "He drives me nuts." 

"Even so. You'll get Hammond to agree. Won't you." 

The colonel grunted. "Maybe. It depends."

"On?" 

"On whether I get home in time for The Simpsons. Let's move out, doctor." 

True to my word, I didn't tell the colonel, or anyone, what Daniel confided to me in that cave. In my job we call it The Seal of The Bedpan. I understand his reluctance to share; he's the only civilian on a team of seasoned, formidable warriors. He's afraid if he shows any kind of weakness it might count against him. Diminish him in their eyes. Especially the colonel's. He's wrong about that, but it's something he needs to discover for himself.. 

I still don't know what happened between him and O'Neill on that first insane mission to Abydos. But give me time. I'll find out. And when I do, I'll be one step closer to understanding what makes those mismatched friends tick. 

I can't wait.

[lucy90712]

Can you do a Jude Bellingham imagine where his girlfriend is very burnt out from school. They do long distance so she tries to get everything done so she can go spend time with him & watch him play. One day when she lands to watch him play against Barcelona he finds her stress crying in the room alone because she tries to be there for everyone around her but it’s costing her to stress out about getting things in on time. Somehow Jude calms her & they enjoy their day before he plays against Barcelona.

Thank you

-a very stressed & burnt out student

A/n: this is me right now too, I hope things get easier for you soon

WC: 2.0k The last few weeks maybe even months have been so stressful. Ever since I went back to university I have done nothing but go to classes and study. I know it's my final year but I didn't think it would be this difficult but there is just so much to do between assignments for classes and preparations for my dissertation. For the first few weeks I feel like I was coping pretty well but recently it's all just hit me like a truck and now I feel like I'm drowning in books and being suffocated by deadlines. 

To make it all 100 times worse where I chose to go to uni is away from my family and very far from my boyfriend. Don't get me wrong I love it here but at times like this I just wish that I had someone here to tell me it's all going to be ok. I've been really missing not just my family but my boyfriend Jude as well, I haven't seen Jude since before I came back to uni which was at the end of august and it's been killing me. I also haven't been able to talk to him as much as I would like as I've been really busy and he's been busy too with his move to Real Madrid and having to get used to living and playing over there. 

These last few months have been hard on our relationship, even though we've been long distance for a few years now we have never gone this long without seeing each other and the fact that we haven't talked as much hasn't helped. Finally we are going to see each other though as I'm flying over to see him play and just to spend a few days with him which has got me through the last few days. In order to be able to go and see Jude I have been working extra hard to get my work done as I want to actually spend time with him which I can't do if I have assignments to do but it's been difficult. All week I've only left my apartment to go to classes and I've pulled far too many all nighters but I've got quite a lot done so I guess it's somewhat worth it although I still have some things to do. 

I had an alarm set to wake me up before my flight but it wasn't needed as I'd been awake all night packing and doing uni work. The worst part was despite all my hard work I had to pack a few of my textbooks and my laptop as I didn't manage to finish everything in time. I tried to put that behind me though as I got to the airport because I still want to enjoy my time with Jude and if I'm stressed and feeling down then I'm not going to make the most of the time which I really do want to do. Jude has been telling me all week how much he's been looking forward to today he promised me that we was going to get up early to pick me up from the airport before he has to go to training which is how I know he's serious as he hates getting up in the morning. 

~~~~~~~~~~

After a few hours in the air I landed on Spanish soil and somehow I immediately felt a bit more relaxed as I knew it was only a matter of time until I would be in Jude's arms which is exactly what I need. As I got off the plane I text Jude to let him know I had landed which he answered right away telling me he was already waiting for me in the arrivals lounge with a disguise on so he didn't get recognised. Knowing he was waiting for me made me walk a bit quicker to collect my bag and once it was in sight I grabbed it and ran towards where Jude would be waiting for me. 

It took me a minute to find Jude but eventually I saw him stood with a hat and sunglasses on which didn't offer much of a disguise but he wasn't surrounded by people so clearly it does something. Once he saw me coming he swiftly made his way over until he was close enough to pick me up and nearly kill me with how tightly he held me. It felt so good to be in his arms again and smell his cologne it made me feel like I was home again which is exactly what I've been needing. Jude held onto me for a good while before he took my bag in one hand and my hand in the other leading me out to his car which was parked outside. Once we got in the car Jude leaned straight over the centre console and smashed his lips onto mine which led to us making out for a bit too long so we had to rush back to Jude's place on he could drop me off before going to his training session. 

Once Jude had left I went and made myself some breakfast as I didn't have time to eat before I left and I had to make myself a cup of tea because despite being in Spain I'm still British and we can't go a day without a cup of tea. Jude knows me well enough that he had brought a new pack of my favourite tea and put it on a shelf he knows I can reach along with a mug which he had clearly just brought for me. I enjoyed my cup of tea before I took my bag upstairs to go and unpack. To my surprise the room was quite clean and Jude had cleaned out one of his draws for me, well not quite there was a few hoodies and t shirts in there still but he left me a note telling me I can wear them so they are mine now. Of course I had to put a hoodie on before starting to unpack all of my stuff. 

I unpacked most of my stuff pretty quickly but then I got to the bottom of my suitcase and saw just how many text books and folders I had to pack. Seeing it made the realisation hit me that I still have so much work to do and once again all of the stresses started weighing down on me like it was physically crushing me. All week I've been so deep into work mode I bottled up all my emotions but now they are all coming out at once and for some reason I can't stop crying. It's like all of the pressure and stress has finally reached the surface and the mental breakdown all my friends warned was coming has finally arrived. I've never felt so overwhelmed in my life and I just don't know how to cope all I do know is that I need to get myself together before Jude gets back as I don't want to worry him plus I want to enjoy our time together. 

My attempts to calm myself down didn't go well if anything I just got more overwhelmed and cried more. I was so in my own world that I completely lost track of time so when I heard the front door close and Jude call my name I panicked. As his footsteps got closer to the bedroom I desperately tried to wipe the tears from my face but then I realised my eyes would still be all red so I just put the hood on the hoodie up to try and cover my face.

"Hi darling do you need any help unpacking?" Jude asked a he walked in 

"N-no I'm f-fine" I sniffled

"Babe what's wrong?" He asked clearly concerned 

"Nothing" I said 

"I know you're lying to me I can hear you sniffling what's made you so upset you know you can tell me anything" he said trying to make me open up

"I'm sorry I'm just stressed I've got so much work to do for uni I worked so hard all week so we could actually spend some time together but I couldn't finish everything and now I have loads of texts books in my suitcase and I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed I'm really sorry I'm ruining our time together" I rambled 

"Hey hey slow down it's ok there's no need to be sorry it's ok tell me exactly what's going on and we can fix it together" Jude comforted 

"I still have two assignments I need to finish before the end of the week and I'm so exhausted from pulling so many all nighters but I just want to actually spend some time with you because I've really missed you" I said a bit more calmly this time 

"Ok we can work this out I know you're tired but how about I help you finish those assignments then we can just have a relaxing evening together get some sleep and be ready to do something together tomorrow" Jude suggested 

"That sounds good" I said 

Jude then picked me up and sat me on his bed before grabbing my laptop and books for me. I explained to him what I needed to do and then we go to work together. One of my assignments I just needed to reread so Jude did that for me to make sure there were no mistakes then I just needed to finish one other assignment and then do the same. Jude was so helpful and read the parts of my textbooks I needed to me while I typed and he let me talk through my ideas with him even though he doesn't understand what I'm studying. In just over and hour we were done and I instantly felt so much better and when Jude started giving me kisses I felt even better. 

 Being the amazing boyfriend that he is Jude got some chocolate from downstairs for me to eat while he ran a bath for the both of us to share. It was only when Jude came to ask me which bubble bath I prefer that I realised just how much he had brought for my visit. He doesn’t like to take baths so he wouldn’t have bubble bath just lying around and the chocolate I was eating was my favourite one so he must’ve got that especially for me as well. Jude is such a sweet boyfriend all the time but little things like this just make me realise how truly perfect he is and it makes me so grateful that I ended up with Jude as I know he truly cares for me. 

Once the bath was ready Jude helped me get in then he got in himself and sat behind me letting me rest my back against his chest. The entire atmosphere was so relaxing which helped me finally let go of all the stress and anxiety that has been fuelling me for the last few weeks. Nothing needed to be said either both of us were more than content just sitting there in silence as Jude’s fingers played with the rings on my hand especially the promise ring which he gave me last Valentine’s Day which I think is my favourite piece of jewellery I own. After a while of just relaxing Jude started to wash my body for me which meant I didn’t have to move at all as his hands gently rubbed over my skin. 

Once the both of us were clean we got out the bath and Jude gave me some of his clothes for me to put on which I very happily did. He then picked me up and carried me downstairs to the sofa where he piled blankets on top of me before sitting down and spreading them out properly. All of the sudden I felt the tiredness take over so I snuggled up to Jude and just let my eyes close and sleep consume me. Just as I was drifting off I felt Jude kiss the top of my head and whisper I love you which put a smile on my face just as I went into a dreamland. 

[cru5h-cascades]

LORE-fi Bag: Corrine's Journal (Part 2)

Part 2 baybeee

I should have written this in part 1 but I'm skipping around in these journal entries. I'm just writing the more story relevant entries.

August 29, 2015

Em's birthday was yesterday so as a gift I helped him get his name legally changed. Surprisingly enough he got both his first name AND last name changed. I guess he just wants to distance himself from his shitty dad as much as possible. I wouldn't blame him. But he was pretty happy after he got the paperwork done. After that we went out for an ice cream cake and I gave Em two other presents: a walkman and a tape deck. Em's also pretty interested in the ancient tech I have around the house so I figured maybe he'd probably like those too. I showed him the blank cassette tapes I have and told him he can use the tape deck to burn music onto those so he can listen to them on the walkman. He really likes that thing...

January 1, 2016

I gave Em a music box last night. I guess you could call it a late xmas present. He loves it. He played before he went to sleep after midnight. His childlike soul strikes again.

I can't help but notice Em's little mannerisms. How curious he gets about new things I bring into the house that I find while I'm out. How he has the tendency to sleep on me sometimes while we're watching TV on the couch late at night, among other things. If my parents met him they'd probably tell him to grow up or something like that. To me, those little things about him are kind of cute. He's a silly lil' guy. It's like having a big ol' cat in the house. And I like that.

May 13, 2016

So the Regina Spektor CDs I ordered came in yesterday and, as usual, Em wanted to know what was on the CDs. He played my copy of Far all. Night. He played the song Eet on that album an unholy amount of times. Oh Em... what am I going to do with you?

July 10, 2017

Em and I are gonna try making music together. I'm not really sure why it's taken me this long to make a song again. It's been a few years since I wrote Balloon Flowers and I had fun writing it. About time I started working on new music. Who knows. Maybe we could get famous off of our music. That'd be pretty cool.

But then again... Em's dad is still alive, at least as far as him and I know. If we got famous he'd probably find out. And I don't want to even consider what could happen if he did. From what Em told me about him that guy is literally the devil but instead of a pitchfork in hand he's got a beer bottle. He's probably not too happy about his son running away from home. If we do get famous... I just hope that he stays the hell away from Em.

August 4, 2017

Em's been pulling all nighters every now and then for weeks now, trying to make music. Honestly, the music he makes is pretty cool. I haven't even figured out how to make music like he does on my own. I'm jealous of him lol. But it's fine. As long as we're making music together I'm happy. But I really wonder... why does he keep staying up late to learn music stuff? Is it just to impress me? I guess that's just another "emi-isim" of his.

April 14, 2018

Em and I found this huge flower field today. I've never seen that many flowers out in the wild. It was incredible. Em brought his sketchbook and charcoal pencils and did an impressive drawing of one of the flowers we found over there. Is there anything this man can't do?

November 5, 2021

BIG NEWS. THIS ONE LADY WHO WORKS AT ONE OF THE THEATERS IN TOWN IS ORGANIZING AN EVENT HAPPENING NEXT MONTH AND WHILE AT WORK SHE CAME UP TO ME AND OFFERED ME A SPOT IN THE CONCERT. I SAID YES RIGHT THEN AND THERE. AAAAH!!! SO EXCITED!!! I NEED TO START PRACTICING FOR THE CONCERT!!!

December 10, 2021

Today's the day!! What might possibly be my big break! Em's out of the apartment right now. He said he'd be there in the theater before we start performing. Em's been acting... weird lately. Like he's planning something. Before he left he told me he had a surprise for me but I had to wait until the concert was over to get it. Goddamnit don't make me wait, Em! Well, I'm sure whatever he's got planned, it's going to be absolutely incredible. Em knows me too well. I hope he likes the concert. I wish both of us could be up there. Em deserves it. For everything he's done for me. I couldn't even imagine what life would have been like if I hadn't found him out on the streets that one day. But one thing's for sure... he's made my life so much better than how it was when I lived in Greensburg. He made me feel more free than I've ever felt before. I feel like I could die happy just knowing that I let Em into my life and we raised each other up. Gotta love Emio...

Ah! I need to start getting ready for the concert! I'll write a little bit more later. I can't wait to see what Em has in store for me!

[diesoonandsuffer]

I FINISHED TNG!

please clap.

i never actually did an update on my thoughts post since season 3, so i figured before i watched the movies i'll do a summary of my thoughts on the show.

first off it apparently took me over a year to finish it since i started in july of 2022, and it's now august of 2023. this isn't because i didn't like it or anything, i just kept doing other stuff and unlike with tos, i wasn't watching it WITH someone, so i wasn't on a schedule of any kind. however i did enjoy the show, i grew to like the characters quite a lot and i was invested in their stories. it was definitely a different vibe to tos, while tos is quite episodic, campy, and a bit dated, tng is less campy, a bit less episodic, and slightly less dated lol. it did kind of annoy me that we would start to get these longer arcing plots and then they would be abandoned or forgotten. for example at the beginning of the show it seemed like riker and troi were going to have a lot more "drama" in the show but nothing really happened with them, and then at the very end of the show they put her with worf and don't really explore that fully. i don't just mean romantic pairings but that's an example of what i mean. there was also just a general quality difference in episodes, maybe it was more noticeable here than in tos since tng was longer, but towards the end of the show in particular we got really good episodes followed by quite shit ones. by the time the show ended i didn't really feel like it was ready to end, if that makes sense. i feel like it was always toeing the line between being episodic and being a show with long plots. in general -- was fun. i had a good time. i've forgotten a lot from the beginning but oh well.

here i'll give my thoughts on the characters since that's what i used to do. in no particular order:

picard: i really don't have many strong opinions about him, some episodes he definitely was more entertaining than others. i think i would have liked to see him fail more often because generally he seems too capable at times. i do enjoy the rare moments where he loosens up. despite the longer screentime he had i weirdly feel like he has less depth than kirk? let me know if this is a crazy take but i don't feel like picard is a particularly complicated man, he doesn't seem like he has a lot of inner turmoil or conflict about things, meanwhile kirk is going through it at all times. not to constantly compare the two but. well, i just did

troi: the most beautiful woman in the world i'm such a whore when i look at her. when she got a real uniform i whooped and hollered and when she become a COMMANDER bitch?!?!?! i really do wish they did more with her character she had sooooooo much potential with being half-betazed and they never really give it the exploration it deserves, they use it when its convenient and forget when it isn't. i feel like if we had gotten one more season she could have really shined but they were like i know let's spend the last couple of episodes we have with her making her date worf i guess. also why did they give her mom so much trauma. that wasn't nice.

worf: i grew to like him more and more as the show went on, like whenever i would realize the episode i was watching was going to be a worf-focused episode i would get excited. he's one of those unintentionally funny characters which makes him entertaining, but i also find it interesting seeing the way he balances his klingon heritage with his role as a starfleet officer. i love how much he loves being a klingon, and how he always wants to teach other people about it and let them, in turn, learn more about him. he cares deeply and he tries hard even if he doesn't get it right. i know he's in ds9 so i'm happy to see more of him when i finally get to that

riker: we didn't get enough of him tbh. it felt like there would be multiple season gaps between his solo episodes. like for someone who is the first officer he didn't feel very relevant to the show, they stopped caring about his character after a while. he would have maybe a small arc in certain episodes but he was mostly there because he had to be? maybe the sporadic way i watched is effecting my memory on this. but i really like him, i think he's funny and i like his rogue tendencies.

geordi: we also didn't get enough of geordi. i love him but i feel like i barely know anything about him. but i love how genuinely kind and caring he is, and he's also in the scotty position of "the ship would fall apart without him" i feel like every episode picard would be like geordi fix this! help! also i wish he would have kissed the android.

data: hey it's the android. i love this dude. however i am getting a little overexposed to the dude and i know the movies are only going to continue that. idk why by s6-7 they were like "we're out of ideas for data. what if he liked killing and hurt his crewmates and was maybe evil" which is so lazy. like it would all somehow get resolved by the end and everyone would just move on like data wasn't a genocide machine two minutes ago. the finale reminded me of the way data used to be, where he would constantly ask people questions and say obvious things, and i realized i really missed that. he has dreams and shit now he's not really as compelling. he's been a human to me from day 1 so they didn't need to do all that. however brent spiner continues to be very funny.

beverly: um she certainly was there. don't get me wrong i like her but i feel like i never had any strong attachment to her. she didn't get many solo episodes and the last one i can remember (with the fucking. ghost?) was not good. yeah i can't really think of anything else to say. she's fine.

wesley: ok i know he like left the show after a certain point but i would be remiss to mention again that his arc did not end in a good way and he should get to take a NAP why does he have to keep being SO SPECIAL. also why does anyone ever hate this kid he was like 12 he literally was so non offensive to the show. but i did really like every time he came back after wil wheaton left i feel like wesley brings a new perspective to the show that is needed.

honorable mention ro laren: she's my icon right now so i feel like i have to mention her. i would have loved to see more of her in the show, i found her character really compelling and complex. i liked how she was always a bit of a bitch. i'm on the fence of how i feel about her arc ending, i feel like the episode with geordi and the one where she was turned into a kid both were made to help her feel more like the enterprise could be a home for her. they didn't give me much reason to believe otherwise? i don't care about her leaving, i liked that both her and wesley left starfleet even if the show didn't have the time or capacity to explore it, but i didn't fully believe her reasoning. but i loved every time she was there.

i have probably forgotten. many things. i was in the sun all day and maybe have heat exhaustion. but i'm starting generations in like 10 minutes and i realized i needed to make this post before i watched it. thank you for coming along on this year-long journey of me watching tng. we did it boys

[arrolyn1114]

August 16

I am listening to Aloha From Hawaii as I sit down to write this tribute, my favorite of Elvis's live performances. I have read some other tributes and all of them have been so beautiful. This made me pretty emotional to write not gonna lie.

This date definitely carries more weight with me this year for so many reasons. As many already know, I was an Elvis fan before the movie last year but I wasn't as involved in the fandom as I am now. Back in 2002 when "Lilo and Stitch" came out, I took my then 7 year old niece to see it and she did enjoy it, but it was me the adult in her 20s who walked out obsessed with it. Since then, I've honestly felt like it was just me and my homegirl Lilo who appreciated Elvis and since she's a drawing I can't have a conversation with her. Elvis kind of fell to the wayside for me, in the background but still appreciated.

I admit I was skeptical about the movie last year when I first heard about it. I was like "Who the hell is this Austin dude who's playing Elvis? And Baz is directing it? Interesting. Ok, well I guess I'll give it a watch and see." And I'm so glad I did because they blew me away and re-sparked my interest in Elvis. I love how the movie introduced so many new people to Elvis and now there's all these new fans to talk to. I've made all kinds of new friends in this fandom. I hadn't really been using my Tumblr much but I went on it last year to see if I could find other fans to talk to and it turned out to be the best thing because I was invited to join the best Discord channel where I have met some truly wonderful Elvis fans of all ages from around the world. One of the things I love about the Elvis fandom is how supportive and inclusive it is. There's so much toxicity in so many fandoms these days but it seems to be an extremely rare thing in this fandom and that is so refreshing.

Elvis also helped me break through a long drought of writer's block. Prior to the movie last year, I hadn't been doing much writing, just some short one shots for my other fandoms and I was struggling, thinking I'd never write something long or substantial. I had little faith I could write a long story with an intricate plot. After the movie rekindled my interest in him he busted right through that block and I ran with the idea that popped into my head. It started as a one shot and quickly grew into a novel length story. I just posted chapter 35 the other day and it's still ongoing. I admit I was nervous about posting it at first, I often suffer from self doubt and imposter syndrome and I worry my writing is not good enough to share. But I'm so glad I shared it. I had no idea it was going to be as loved as it is now. I have so many devoted readers who have left me kudos and given me amazing feedback for which I am so grateful. And new readers continue to discover it all the time which brings me even more joy.

Little by little I am starting to get over my insecurities and self doubts about my writing. I am getting much better at battling imposter syndrome and letting my creativity flow. It feels SO good to be writing again, when you've gone through a long bout of creative block to finally be back at your craft is one of the most amazing feelings in the world. So thank you Elvis, thank you for helping me.

In December of this year, I will be visiting Memphis and Graceland for the very first time. I'm a runner who loves to look for destination races so I can plan a trip around a race so I am doing the Memphis St Jude half marathon on Dec 2 and I am going to cosplay as Aloha Elvis. I have an American Eagle jumpsuit onesie to wear for the race. I also plan on ordering a multi pack of leis which I will wear and hand to the volunteers at the aid stations when they hand me Gatorade and I will thank them for aiding my gator. It will be overwhelmingly emotional for me to run on the same streets Elvis once walked. Me and my significant other are staying the week after the race to do Graceland and other tourist things in Memphis. I am so excited.

I hope that wherever Elvis is in the afterlife that he knows how loved he still is and how he's still positively affecting people all these decades later after he passed.

This ended up being a pretty long piece and if you read the whole thing, thank you. I leave you with some pics of my favorite Elvis, Aloha E: my man of many leis. ❤🌺

[alixhawkes]

Session zero: World building and characterisation.

When Alix was "born" (I guess?), it wasn't a big shock to many. In fact, the reason she was created was that a plethora of my friends on my personal account asked me for the spicy links after a "close friends" Instagram story of me in a bodysuit. It wasn't a particularly saucy bodysuit (K-Mart special ftw), but a comment from that story, and a quick conversation with my husband, and I was off to the races - so to speak.

It also worked out perfectly since I'm 100% WFH in my civilian job. I can reply to messages, manage my SM feeds, shoot stuff, edit, whatever as long as I was getting the job that paid done too.

A frequently asked question is how I came up with the name. True to my nerd roots, I used a fake name generator I use to name my Sims. It felt fitting - I was creating a new character for myself, so why not just leave it up to chance?

So, some of the other FAQ's I get:

Q: Why don't you show face? A: This is mostly a comfort thing on my end. I'm not some hideous sea hag or anything, but being anonymous (for the most part) means I can keep Alix and Not-Alix seperate. In saying that, I'm not exactly hiding my face well or anything. And the face card can be (and has been) earnt.

Follow up question: How does one earn a face card? A: Ever met another human and you wanted to get to know them better? Treat me like I'm a human and not a fuck sleeve (that's reserved for certain people lmao). Part of it is transactional, so tipping on my content, ordering customs, etc. But part of the reason I think I excell at the Girlfriend Experience (GFE) is because I like to talk to people. I like to know how they are, what their hobbies are, etc. It makes Alix more authentic and grounded, which I value, and I think others value too.

Q: Do people who know you are behind the persona? A: Yes! Some of my biggest spenders are my friends. People who circle the acquaintance sphere can be a little weird in the way they talk to Alix, and talk to Me. While I keep the two separate as much as I can, we are, the same person. It's weird when someone you met at a work conference in an entirely different industry finds your spicy sites and starts talking like we're old friends who used to fuck.

Q: Is your husband actually cool with it? / Are you really married? A: He is, and I am! My husband and I have been together for 10 years (Jesus) and married for 5 years as of August 2024. I've always put his comfort above everything else. If I get a request I'm comfortable with but think he won't be, I'll ask him. Some people get upset with that because they aren't paying my husband or whatever, but if you aren't respecting the (very reasonable) boundaries I've established about my content and the inherently parasocial relationships SW can lead to, then you're wasting my time.

Other Q's that come up will be added later.

-- Alix x

[lareinenoir]

THE PURGE; Sanctuary C.E x black reader

PT III

60 Days Until The Purge

THEN...

"I'll order take out. I know you like Thai-"

"Don't order anything. I'm actually not even hungry." You said as he took your bag and put it on his shoulder. "What?" He was looking at you weird and it made you frown.

"Where's the rest of your stuff?"

"You asked me to stay the night. That is my overnight bag." You replied folding your arms and walking over to the couch. Your hand touched your forehead and you sighed. You could still feel him looking at you as you tried to relax with your head leaned back. "After I tell Shonda about our situation, you're signing the papers."

"What do you mean-"

"You know what I mean." You shot back

"Ok, well theirs a lot to consider now." He motioned to your stomach and you sat up straight. "We're having a baby, now."

"No no no." You shook your head feeling your petty insides bubble a bit in sarcasm. "I'm having a baby. Me. Just me.”

"Obviously I want to be apart of our baby's life." Chris argued back and you frowned and scoffed. He put your bag down and crossed his arms as you brushed it off. "You can't seriously think I won't. V that's insane."

"You wanna know what's insane? You think you're gonna get anywhere near it. Why in the hell would I allow you and your broken promises anywhere near my child? Do you think I'm stupid? To make the same mistake twice!"

"Again? V what do you want me to do?" He asks throwing his hands up. "Acting is what I do, that's my job-"

"I don't care about that. I'm not asking you to chose your job or me-"

"It damn well near sounds like it. I would never make you choose." He countered back and you gripped your fists together.

"You may not have said it directly, but there have been many times where you have indirectly patronized me. I just found out I'm pregnant and I have been trying so hard to deal with it." you replied watching him pace back and forth and shake his head. "I have been getting the worst headaches, I can't keep any food down and I literally get lightheaded on set every single day because hiding my pregnancy has been a real joy ride." You replied sarcastically with a small chuckle

"What do you want me to do? I tell you to tell the producers, you get mad. I tell you to take a break, you get mad. I tell you to come over and you’re mad.” Chris said in disbelief. “I don't know what you want from me." He shrugs brushing the hair from his eyes.

"Not once since you found out have you asked me how I'm doing? My whole career is at risk I could lose my job. And you don't even seem to care.” You said

"V, I do care." He reached for your shoulder and you took in another breath. "I want you to stop worrying all the time. And you're right, I should be concerned more about you. I should be there for you-I should've been there for you in the beginning.” He admitted and you folded your lips again.

Are For real this time? Should I let it go and move past it? Again? No because it'll start all over again.

"This baby is mine. This is a life changing thing that's happening, I can't let you ruin it too." You spoke

" I'm taking responsibility because this is something I want. Ok? Can't we find some common ground? You of all people should know what it's like to grow up without a father!"

"You know too!" You shouted back. Chris' dad had died when he was younger. He talked about him sometimes but not as much. "I'd rather have had my father six feet under then to have him choosing when it's convenient for him to show up!" You said with your foot down shaking your head.

"Forget the divorce. Me and you living here happily married for the years to come. Whats so bad about that? Why can't I have that? What's so wrong with the picture of two parents raising a child?" His voice was loud and he was getting frustrated. He didn't shout, but you could tell how passionate he was about it. He always wanted to be a daddy, a parent. "Huh?"

"It's not just about you!" You said stepping closer. "Because..." You shrugged feeling your eyes water as you suck in your cheeks. "I knew the kind of man I was marrying. So involved with his job it took him almost fifteen years to actually start dating. It's not about you or your career. This baby is all I have right now.”

He looked confused as he relaxed his brow and pinched the bridge of his nose. From two feet away you could feel his heartbeat and you felt a little bad for how foolish you probably looked. You still loved him, not like you ever stopped, but you remembered that you still loved him.

Because, it's not about me either anymore. You thought

"Forget the papers okay..." You said swallowing your own pride. "just forget it. You’re right. I want our child to have two parents who will love him unconditionally. But it has to stop, because it takes two. I can't have you with one foot in the door." You admitted

“Yeah yeah.” He nodded “yeah I get that. I’m not going anywhere.” Chris said and you walked forward and took his hand kissing his palm as you placed it on the side of your face. “I promise V.” He cups your face and stares into your eyes. His stubble poking at you a bit as you held his wrists.

“I love you.” You said with a small smile

“Still?” He laughed making you roll your eyes as you giggled a little. “I love you too. Are you sure you aren’t hungry?” He asks again

“Yes.” You nodded “now shut up and come take a nap with me.”

NOW....

CHRIS POV**

“Damnit! Damnit! Damnit!” I said throwing the phone on the couch. I had called five times and her phone went straight to voicemail.

“This is not a test, this is your Emergency Broadcast System. Announcing the commencement of the annual purge sanctioned by the U.S. Government. ALL Weapons have been authorized for use during the purge. Government officials of ranking 10 have been granted immunity and shall not be harmed. Commencing at the siren, any and all crime (including murder) will be legal for 121 days. Police, fire, and Emergency Medical services will be unavailable until December 15, 12:00 o’clock midnight, when the purge concludes. Blessed be our new founding fathers and America... A nation reborn. May God be with you all.”

My tv was replayed the message nine more times before shutting off. I swallowed the lump in my throat. Today is august 15, Vanessa’s birthday is tomorrow which was when she’d be 17 weeks. We had marked it on the calendar together. More than half my wife’s pregnancy would be spent during the purge. I needed to find her!

I didn’t support the purge. Something about killing people to be “cleansed” just didn’t sit right in my gut. It made my heart ache thinking about the clean up at the end. I could bring Dodger, but he can only do so much. Maybe he could help track her scent. Grabbing my coat I folded my lips together.

“Fuck!” I shout

With what weapon? How was I going to run the streets looking for my wife without a gun? I loved the idea of owning one, but Vanessa made me swear not to bring one in the house if she was there. So I just dropped the idea. Looking in the kitchen I grabbed one of the Chef knives off the rack. Maybe this would be enough for now...

“Damnit!” I curse looking at Dodger. “She said she was at Topanga Park. Start there?” I asked, as if he’d answer back. I grabbed her bonnet from off the bathroom door handle and stuffed it in my backpack.

I didn’t hesitate l. I locked up everything and jumped inside my truck. Dodger sat on the passenger side and I felt my hands start to shake as I put my foot on the gas. I started to promise god I would go to church if he would keep her safe.

“I don’t even know if you’re even listening or you even care. I love her, I’ve been such and idiot and I don’t wanna lose her.” I looked at Dodger and he was sitting up straight. “I remember you didn’t like her. You wouldn’t let her anywhere near me, you bark and squeeze yourself in between us when we sat down in the room to watch movies.” I chuckle wiping the little tear that slipped from my eye “You stole one of her wigs too.”

“WHAT THE FUCK!” she shouted chasing you around the house. “DODGER GIVE IT BACK! COME BACK!”

We chased him around the house and Dodger thought it was some sort of game. We had been officially dating for a month. I had started laughing when I caught him and held her headband wig in my hand. She stood their with her arms folded while I petted his head and she rolled her eyes.

"I told you he doesn't like me." She said as I stood up and she took the wig from my hand.

"Come on, he's just getting used to you."

"I've been over here every day. Your dog hates me."

"What?" I tilted my head to the side and touch her nose with my index finger. "Deal breaker? If my dog doesn't like my girlfriend, I'm gonna dump her? Tell me where that makes sense."

She walked closer to me and wrapped her arms around my waist looking up at the ceiling as I kissed her neck. "I guess you have a point." Vanessa sighed.

"He's just warming up to you that's all."

"What's stopping me from breaking up with you?"

"Over a dog?"

"This is his third assault against me. First it was tearing up my purse, then chewing up my crocs, not to mention the little shit I found inside of them. And now stealing my wig and playing cat and mouse." Said Vanessa as I rested my head on top of hers. "Luckily this is a backup wig."

“Aren’t you wearing one right now?” I asked

“Headband wig. And that wig your dog has destroyed,” she gave him the side eye “it was my favorite and expensive.” She gritted her teeth

“I’ll buy you another one.” I offered

She purses her lips and shook her head. “I don’t want you buying me anything. I’ll just break up with you. For real this time.”

"Fine then..." I baited her shrugging my shoulders. "Break up with me."

“Over a dog?” She frowns mocking me as I smile down at her and her eyebrows bend downward a little as she caressed my face. Her finger was gentle and she stood on her top toes and kissed my lips. “Never.”

...

I look over at Dodger and pat his head. "We'll find her. I know we will." I say trying to lift my spirits.

When we arrived to Topanga Park, it was a sight. I didn't even want to leave the truck. I felt my heart race a little more. "What the hell..."

In the middle of traffic-in between the cars were bodies. Dodger started barking at the train of blood that stained the streets. It was empty, but I could feel a heavy weight on my back. Walking behind me, next to me...it was all around me. I hadn't realized I had my hand over my mouth an nose, it was hard for me to breath as the stench of dead bodies. Dodger kept barking and that led to me chasing after him. I had her bonnet in one hand and I called after him.

I came to a halt when I came face to face with another person. He had Dodger in his hands and I felt my muscle tense up. He was tall and very familiar looking. I swallowed the lump in my throat and held the kitchen knife in my hand with a firm grip.

"Captain America?"

I tilted my head sideways and licked my lower lip narrowing my brow a little. "Yeah, give me the dog and we can go our separate ways. Ok?"

He nodded his head. He ran his fingers through his hair and put the dog down. I wasn't really concerned about who he was I was trying to prepare for a fight. He dropped his gun on the ground and held up his his hand.

"I'm not going to kill you. I'm looking for my wife." He said "She left her watch in that building." He pointed to the school and slowly pulled the watch from his pocket.

"In there?" I asked

"Yeah." He nodded, but I still couldn't shake the feeling I knew him from somewhere. "My name is Jared. My wife's name is Gianne, I'm pretty sure she was with someone else-are you looking for someone too? Maybe we could help each other. There was something written on the chalkboard in there, I wasn't something Gia would write, but she was here. All I wanna do is find her-"

"Supernatural?" I asked turning my head to the side. Vanessa loved that show. Whenever she had spare time she would watch it or on those many night she'd spend the night at my house we would watch it-well not really watch it. The Netflix and 'chill' was emphasized. "You said something about some sort of message on the wall?" I asked motioning with my hand. "what did it say?"

"um, CE equals BE or something like that." He shrugged

I laughed a little. Vanessa Evans plus Chris Evans equals Baby Evans. It was a stupid joke-an Easter egg if you will. Shonda put in the show on the whiteboard in one of our love scenes as a way to announce our pregnancy to the audience. She often left clues to the next episode in every episode except this one was not only in the show but in real life.

"Chris Evans." I say extending my hand out to him. I'm pretty sure he knew by the little smile playing on his face. He shook my hand and nodded his head.

"I know. I'm a big marvel fan, I know all your lines." Jared chuckled and then cleared his throat as he nervously laughed. "Nice to meet you. I'm Jared Padalecki - I know I said that already..."

I introduced him to Dodger and I felt a little more relaxed. I gathered that she was alive and we both came to the assumption that they were traveling together.

"Where do you think their headed?" I asked as we walked to his car which was tricked out and full of ammunition and guns. Not to mention government level protective gear.

"While I was in there, I picked up someone else. Heavy footed and big, traveling with dogs. Hair everywhere." He went on tossing me a bullet proof vest. "You heard of Sanctuary?"

"The safety place? Yeah, but it's hard to find. It's for people who get caught in the Purge right?"

He narrowed his brow and shook his head. "No." Said Jared sharply. "Sanctuary is a secret government funded task force. It started off as a conspiracy some myth to explain all the random disappearances throughout the year. It's a government project designed for population control." He went on

"Ok...what does that have anything to do with the Purge?"

"Everything. An organization designed to control the US population. We're talking Pro killers who were once on a leash, but when that horn sounded and the Purge began, they are just as free to kill anyone they want." Said Jared handing me an ipad. It was a list of celebrities. From pro athletes like Steph Curry and their immediate families to movie stars and singers like Rhianna and Tom Cruise. "There are rumors that they are hunting celebrities. The kardashians and Jenner's are fair game. If not the stars themselves then they choose their parents, brothers and sisters."

"And do what?" I asked quietly as I saw mine and Vanesssa picture

"Most get auctioned off to the highest bidder, I've also heard they kill them on the spot for money or bring them in to fight for the death. Bottom line, there is a bounty on our heads. During the Purge everyone is fair game, their is no protection."

"You're telling me she's out there being hunted by them right now?" I asked

“Possibly. The dog hair isn’t a breed we know. They are a combination of hunting canines, bloodhound, foxhound, Labrador retriever with the built and aggression of a something like a pit bull a Rottweiler.” Said Jared as I looked up from the iPad and gave it back. “You’re gonna need more than a kitchen knife. We find the dogs and the hunter and we’ll find them.”

He held a gun out to me and wiped my mouth with the palm of my hand trying to mentally prepare for what is to come."

“Do you believe in the Purge?” I asked still questioning why his car was full of weapons. “You kill people?”

He nodded his head. “Yes. I don’t believe in hiding or waiting for someone to kill me. We all have the right to Purge."

"What's stopping you from killing me?"

Jared sighed and shook his head. "I'm hunting them. I'm surviving and if you decide to threaten my survival, then I'll kill you." He went over to the driver side of his Ford charger. "Get in. Knowing Gia she is headed for Roberts hole."

"What's that?" I asked climbing in the passenger seat of the car.

“It’s a Cassino for celebrities. Jack Black owns it. It’s locked up right but open to his favorites during the Purge.”

“They’ll be there?”

“Relax.” He out his hand in my shoulder and looked at me as dodger sat in the back seat. “We will find them. You know how to shoot don’t you?” Jared raised his gun in the air and nodded my head.

I guess it wasn’t confidently and he chuckled. “Vanessa isn’t a fan of guns.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll practice. Ok?”

.

.

.

.

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A/N: Sorry it took so long😬 don’t hate me, please. Lol, I hope everyone is doing well and safe out here. If you wanna be tagged leave it in the ask box, Anyways…Untill next time!

Tags!

@Tantricevans

@rosey1981

@toni9

@onceuponahuntersrealm

@pm-my-hubbies

@Cynthetic

@liqourlaughslove

@melaninfalconbucky

@omg-mymelaninisbeautiful

[i-feel-supernatural]

Baker | Daniel Brühl ~ One Shot • Reader x Daniel Brühl

The cool weather finally pushed the hot summer away. I hoped that the cool weather would stay, but I figured that wouldn't be likely. Mostly because it was still August. But I tried my best to make the most out of the fall like temperatures. I was so looking forward to sweater weather. I decided to go to my favorite bakery. I hadn't been there in a while due to my busy schedule. But today I decided to treat myself to a good cup of coffee and some kind of pastry.

When I walked inside I was surprised at how busy it was. The cashiers were working overtime and the supplies were getting low. "Wow, you guys seem like you're having a very busy day." I said over the chatter of customers. "Busy? It's been down right chaotic. The new baker we hired to help didn't show up." One of the girls said. "How many loves of bread do we have left?" Daniel asked as he came out of the kitchen. He had flower on his cheek as well as chocolate and jams on his apron.

I felt myself blush when I saw him. I've secretly have had a crush on him for a while. "Y/n! I haven't seen you for a while. I'm afraid that I'm all sold out of chocolate croissants at the moment. But I have a fresh batch baking in the oven." He said with a look that said he was sorry. "That's okay. You've been having a very busy day." I said with a look of sympathy. I love his cute German accent, and hoped that I wasn't blushing much.

"Hey, can you bake? I could really use some help." He said after a moment of observing what he was sold out of. "Um, yeah. But I don't think I can bake as good as you though." I said with a shy laugh. "Oh, come on. I can teach you." He said as he motioned for me to follow him. I hesitated for a moment before following him to the kitchen. It was warm in there from the ovens. The place looked like a tornado had been through there. Flour was practically everywhere.

I took my jacket off and rolled up my sleeves. Then he started showing me how to bake his amazing bread. I hoped that I was doing everything right and that the bread turned out. As I helped, he accidently tossed some flower at me. "Hey!" I said with a giggle as I tossed a little flower at him. A big beautiful smile spread across his face. We had a little flour war before he wrapped his arms around me. He pulled me into a big hug, and I melted instantly.

He smelled sweet just like his pastries, and his arms felt so strong around me. I guess he would have to have strong arms to lift those huge sacks of flour and sugar. It took everything in me not to snuggle closer into his chest. "We... we should probably get back to work." He said with a soft laugh. We slowly broke the hug and I blushed when we made eye contact. Eventually we were caught up with all of the orders. We collapsed into chairs in the back. Slightly sweaty and covered in flour.

But I had a wonderful time baking with him. I wished I could do this with him every day. One of the cashiers brought me back a pumpkin spice coffee. I thanked her and sipped it, savoring the delicious coffee. A few moments passed and Daniel handed me a freshly bakes chocolate croissant. "Here, this is for helping me today. I really appreciate it." He said with a cute smile. "Thanks but... you don't have to do that." I said shyly. "It's okay. I want to." He said.

The two of us ate out croissants and drank coffee. We made small talk too. I could just imagine baking things with him every day and having a lovely peaceful life. But I was too shy to tell him how I feel. I was afraid that he wouldn't feel the same way. Especially since he's so handsome. He gave me six free chocolate croissants and a loaf of bread. He often gave me free bread and pastries. But I never really thought anything of it.

"Hey um... maybe you could be my baking buddy. You're really good at baking." He said with a light blush on his face. "Well, that's because I had a wonderful teacher." I said, and his blush darkened. "I mean it. I would love being able to bake with you." He said softly, and I got butterflies. I told him that I would think about it. He gave me his phone number in case I decided to take him up on his offer. I had been looking for a less stressful job.

When I got home I decided to call Daniel and accept his offer. I kept smiling as I thought about my day with him. He was so sweet and playful, just like I imagined he would be. I hoped that I would be able to confess my feelings for him someday.

++++++++++++++

A/N: Thanks for reading!! Check out more Daniel Brühl + Daniel Brühl character One-Shots here:

[jocy-diaries]

06.24.2022

I woke up a little late but at least that means I got a good night of sleep~ Even if my dreams were a little weird. As usual.

It's funny but all of the information people I've met here are low-key rude haha. It's fine though, and I guess it's fair since i don't really speak Italian. I try, but it's so broken and I'm so uncomfortable with it.

I went to Romagia and had a lovely breakfast! It's good! I ordered an omelette, but I think I confused the waitress a little bit. It's not 'oh-me-let' here, it's 'oh-mo-leh-te' haha But turns out the trail didn't start at Riomaggiore, so I had to move on to Corniglia. I swear the train company is making so much money off of me. From there... I took steps. So many fucking stairs. I was hot and sweaty and I doubt any rando would hit on me now lol My genes make me sweaty so wearing a full face of makeup while going hiking is never a good idea. And yet... But I've got to remind myself that no matter how ugly I am, people will still talk to me and be nice to me. Which feels like a blessing.

But there were so many fruit trees!! So many!! I ate some of the grapes and they were SOUR.. A French girl hoped over a fence to get fallen peaches and I had one~ it was so sweet and juicy! I also really wanted to get fallen plums but those were already claimed by insects... I kinda wanted to get a lemon, but like. I wouldn't have done anything with it lol. Maybe adding it to my water, actually 🤔 And if I do come back tomorrow, I wanna go swimming in the little nook I found. I wanted to go scuba diving, but again. The information places are not very helpful. I really like the Italian sea, it's so blue~ I did get to find a place close to the rocks! I chilled there for a bit~ Did some parkour~ And skinned my leg a bit when i slipped ;^; My airport fell into the little pond so I gotta get new ones I guess 😅 And one more adapter. My iPhone kinda died since I didn't charge it last night to charge my android. I also need to buy shampoo. And I'm also low key anxious about the internship now. I know my Italian is bad and because I know I haven't been practicing... Low-key kill me.

Oh! I have my first work call catch up today!! I'm pretty excited for it. And anxious. I'm gonna have so many emails, but I'm curious to see how it's been going.

I think if the chance comes up to get a tattoo in Florence I'll take it. I feel like I accomplished my goal of feeling more connected to my goddess without really bending over backwards somehow? Worshipping her just became a natural part of my day. So I think I'm ready. Even if I don't get the house or the full time job, I want to get this tattoo.

Ohmygod... So I decided to be excited for this right? Be excited for going back to work. But first, the computer work account gives me trouble. And then I decide I'll check my emails, clean things off before my catch up meeting~ .... ......... I have 243 emails.

BROH.

I can't. I'm sure half of those are junk and meetings but OHMYGODS

Ohmygod... This was none of the things I was expecting...

I just had my catch up meeting with my coworker and. Golly. This is NOT good. Social guy got Fired?? He didn't quit, he got *fired* and he was a driving force in some of our integration discussions. My manager still sucks. She's changing everything and making it impossible for my coworker to do anything about it. My boss was very angry about the new tool we were discussing eventhough we discussed it and I said the coworker's company would take care of it? I'm just. What am I going to go back to. August is going to be a literal hell. ...I'm, going to go get pizza.

That update about work actually has me pretty bummed out... Like, why couldn't things just stay good? But I do recall that I just wanted a job to get me all the way to Italy, and that's what it did, and I met some wonderful people along the way so for that I am very grateful. I guess I'll have to apply for some new jobs now though, just in case.

[anendlessdawnfalling]

⭐ Berry Berry Benny!! ⭐

Here is my late review and opinion of Kurenai Yuzuru's last dinner show in August. I had a hard time to assimilate everything that happened these last months, beware of it's length and I hope you love Hoshigumi. Good reading! 💖 I'm sorry if it comes up to you completely, I don't know how the tumblr editing works. 😰 (I'm not sure the songs listing is entirely accurate.)

It was an emotional evening I must say, I deeply love Kurenai Yuzuru and it was overwhelming. I must admit that I'm not entirely sure of the rightness of my timeline, since quite some time passed. I attended the event in Osaka on shonichi, and everyone was very nervous including myself. The dinner show was held at the International Hankyu Hotel with approximately 500 attendees. The ladies at my table were very lovely, we chatted a bit and of course the easiest subject to talk about was Kurenai Yuzuru! Beni's parents were also in the audience closer to the stage.

🥂 DINNER 🥂

The dinner itself was very nice, and was a four course meal inspired by French cuisine. The Menu was written in French and Japanese, a very cute touch. Most of the sentences made sens, but there's still some work to be done, my proposition is that Hankyu should stop using Google translate and hire me instead. As hilarious as it is, we wouldn't want another "Nouvelle / Chinois " to happen.

Dinner was served in that order; Hors d'oeuvres was raw Bream with veggies and carpaccio. L'Entrée was a piece of lightly fried tilefish with a celery and chestnuts buttery sauce. Oddly the taste remembered me of my mother's cuisine, so it's good. The main course was red meat topped with mushrooms and a light sauce, it was accompanied by asparagus, cabbage and potatoes. My only concern was the bread they served with it, if you ate Japanese bread before you might know what I'm talking about. I highly despise the baguettes there because it tastes like cheap Subway bread, that was my very Taurus rant. Finally, the dessert was a red Opéra cake decorated with a Kurenai 5 colored coulis, fruits and a star chocolate. It was ADORABLE.

For the drinks, there was a wide variety offered, one of my favorite was the Asahi 紅 beer. The servers kept generously filling my wine glass, which I can't complain about. I preferred being a little bit tipsy because I didn't know how it was going to go.

🌌 SET 🌌

The stage was a very shiny deep blue tone and was adorned with some glossy columns. A very galaxy note! (Or metaphor because Beni's the God of Stars) The room was giant and pretty cozy at the same time, maybe I'm highly biased because I love Hoshigumi fans aura. The last time I was in a room that luxurious was for a wedding, which Takarazuka events always remember me of, weddings. One could say that, I'm easily impressed by gigantic crystals chandeliers and very elegant tables settings.

There were two rows of chairs at the back of the room, and just before the show started a few Hoshigumi seito sneaked there before it went dark. After a quick glance I remember seeing Arisa Hitomi, Asamizu Ryou and Amaki Homare. There were many more of them that I didn't manage to get a good glance at.

✨ SHOW ✨

As the room went dark and the lights started to flashes toward the stage, the audience deeply anticipated Kurenai's arrival. I started to envy the others closer to the stage, that would have a better view and I regretted to not have brought my opera glasses with me. However she didn't appear right away, and took quite some time to make the audience more excited. Guess what? She bursted of the door right behind me in a beautiful red suit, startling everyone while running and singing. I almost had an heart attack and didn't regret petty things anymore. Thus began Berry Berry BENNY!!

The "supporting" cast was composed of Tenju Mitsuki, Kisaragi Ren, Kizaki Reo and Shirotae Natsu. Everyone jumped out of the stage as Sayumi made her arrival and the first song was Berry Berry Benny. Which by that point my table mates and I were quite shaken by everything that happened. Truly only Beni can pull something like that over and over again and still surprise me. ( Throwback to Stella Rossa) After the song, the cast proceeded to introduce themselves and chit chat a bit. Kurenai asked if they were in Tokyo, Mikki corrected her and she kept laughing. (She NEEDS vacations.)

The second song was Ai no rengoku from Anna Karenina, performed by Beni alone. A very dramatic start I must say, Mr.Karenin left a deep impression on her. Her interpretation was very venurable, and truly delightful if you love her non comical side.

Special talk segment 1: Two chairs were set up for Sayumi and a guest plus a life sized shiny cardboard of Beni. However it was not the regular Kurenai Yuzuru who came on stage, but Beniko in one of the most horrible costumes I've seen on her. Renta was the first guest of the Beniko show, they spoke teasingly of other Hoshigumi seito about how everyone was crying so hard on raku. Both of them were diabolically laughing. As the time went out, the Kurenai cardboard would illuminate and menacing threats would come on. Naachan interview was sweeter and shorter than Renta, she admitted that she cried on raku unlike someone else. Beniko, Renta and Naachan proceeded to sing Raimei. I wasn't ready for the absurdity of the situation, and I must admit I haven't laugh that hard in so many years.

To leave time for Beni to quick change costume, Ren and Natsu sang Yume Butai [ À bientôt ]. Their voice sounded really great as a duet! ♡ I was especially excited for this because it meant Renta had an extra special moment before her retirement. Nacchan and her are really positive people and you can feel this vibe as they perform. Furthermore, an upperclassmen musumeyaku is a delight to see highlighted.

Beni-chan no usomitaina honto no hanashi: A magical story of Beni's life. She narrates/sing the whole thing with highlights of her life and her love for Takarazuka. From what I remember; Mikki was child Beni, Renta as the creepy Butler from Meichan, Natsu as what I suppose was Beniko and Reo was André. (I might be mistaken, I'll correct it if that's the case. I have a goldfish memory.) Cute anecdote: Her dream was to be André in the RoV shinko, but she was appointed as the Grand Chamberlain and was very sad about it. They also made passive-aggressive jokes about Koike sensei, it made me crack.

LUCKY STAR ! Or a cute reminder of where she started, I was very happy she included that song and I felt like a mother hen. It was a nice transition with her earlier storytime, it's joyful, energetic and very her. ♡ She gave us a very explosive and all over the place performance.

Surprise drum rolls, what you wanted to know for so long and the answer is YES. The glorious Kurenai 5 made the comeback we were all waiting for, or more so the Kurenai 3. Beni, Renta and Mikki were in their old matching T-shirt and nostalgia hit me hard. I almost missed the mullet Beni used to have. Then entered the missing members life sized cardboard, both Reo and Naachan made their respective member dance through the song. No one was expecting this, the whole room was filled with laughter. They then talked about the origins of Kurenai 5 and what fun experiences they had in the past. They pointed out that the band would officially not work anymore, as it would be just 1. Beni proceeded to tease Mikki quite a lot. Both Ichijou Azusa and Miya Rurika had recorded a message for their dear leader, in which Beni was delighted to hear. Renta and Mikki then proceeded to slam their microphone to the cardboards during the intervention. It was hilarious! Both Miyaruri and Shiiran were at the raku in Tokyo, so if the DVD is that recording we'll have the delight to physically see them. Sayumi thought Shiiran sounded very ladylike and that Miya sounded very sleepy, like she should go to sleep.

Your favorite song by Benny was a segment where she proposed us three different songs that she could sing for us. After the vote she discarded the audience opinion and did the one she wanted, Smile from Meichan's Butler. (Very her to do that) Unlike the other times she walked through the audience as she sang, and I started to get nervous again when she headed toward the back of the room. She was taking the time to look at everyone very carefully and lovingly. Then she was in front of me and the world fell down. It was THE BEST two seconds of my entire life. I was very much horrendously blushing , but hey Kurenai Yuzuru and I shared a glance while she sang the creepy Butler song? Very shoujo like situation, a part of me fell in love with her all over again. Otokoyaku are very convincing at their job, they don't need to do much to amaze me.

Special talk segment 2 with Mikki and Reo.

Beniko came back with an even more horrendous outfit than the first one; another awful red gown orned with lines of gold and silver sequins. Oversized trumpet sleeves with feathers on the end, a wig worthy of a Ghibli old witch and topped with numerous fans of herself.

Mikki's interview was the longest, and the one to which Beni's cardboard was the most aggressive. Both her and Reo talked about the whole taidan situation, the troupe loves so much BeniAiri. They're as emotional if not more than fans about this. Mikki and Reo came back on stage and joined Beniko to sing Killer Rouge. Another absurd situation, where Beni's gaze was her cool otokoyaku look but she was dressed similar to the old ladies she always mocks about.

Hoshi wo tsugumono was MikkiReo's duet. What a very dangerous duo they make, both their voices are pretty warm and l had a few butterflies in my stomach. I'm sorry for betraying you Sayumi!

Random selection ;

I believe it's a free for all section and that must choose a song according to their mood. That night the ensemble sang Om Shanti Om as Sayumi went off stage to get a quick change. Boi do Hoshigumi loves that production, their enthusiasm really shows while singing this particular song. They went through the public and did a few handtouch. Renta stole the fan of an audience member right in front of me and decided to refresh herself with it. Reo was having her usual bright sunshine energy, Mikki was being an Ikkemen far away from me competing with Natsu. The bright wave of Hoshigumi energy was filling the room, and you could feel the love.

Kurenai came back on stage, dressed entirely in white and we all knew what that meant. The final song was A piece of courage, from Scarlet Pimpernel. God does she LOVES that show most ardently. It was her only lead shinko role and her first Grand theater show as a Top Star, she always seemed to live her best life as Percy. She always look so hopeful when she sings this song, it is VERY touching. Special metion to Aachan who sang it as well at her music salon, if it's not being soulmate I don't know what is.

She got a curtain callback and sang Goodbye from Catch me if you can. Yes, she did that again. As if it wasn't enough from the sayonara show and every other opportunity given to her to sing this. I can honestly say a cried a river again and that I'm in a love hate relationship with that song.

This woman doesn't know what to say to her audience, even thought we made her come back twice. She just told us to go home and that it was over in her lovely kansaiben, I love it. ♡

The show was really fun and I'm really happy I got to go, I hope I didn't forget anything. They rehearsed after having to do one if not two performance a day , and only came out late at the night. They've all worked very hard in such a short amount of time, and the result was GREAT. Kurenai Yuzuru is a real entertainer, a star and she adores it. She puts so much love and energy in her work, it's truly admirable. I'm delighted to have been able to follow her career until now and I'm very glad I focused my attention to the wobbly Mercutio many years ago. She made me cry, laugh and dream. I love her SO much.

My final words are going to be her motto:

Never give up!! ☆

[cru5h-cascades]

Summer content plans (and other junk)!

Well, my dudes, I'm officially on summer break! Finally this hellish school year is over! Which means now I have more time to do stuff that I like!

Okay, so before I go over planned content and junk, here's a few things that I wanted to get out there: I'm planning on getting a job this summer, so this will most likely affect how much stuff I can churn out over the next few months. Or not. Depends on how long my shifts will be and how often I'm gonna be working for each week. In the end, I feel like maybe getting this job will defo pay off in the end because I NEED A NEW COMPUTER. There's no doubt about it. So, I'm gonna try to save up on cash I get from my potential job so I can get a better one (preferibly a 2-in-1 windows 11 computer so I can do more stuff than I could on my shitty ass chromebook). Also, with the money I do have right now, I plan on getting an electric guitar off of Amazon that I can afford with my current funds, so over the summer I'm gonna try to learn how to play guitar so I can make better music than ever before! I dunno if this will effect how often I'm gonna post tracks, but hey at least I'm not gonna be limited to the same 20-ish free electric guitar loops on soundtrap once I figure out how to play guitar!

Okay, so what content am I gonna release over the summer? Here's the stuff that I had in mind...

Calamity Circus! I've been planning to start writing this over the summer, and well I'm on break now so yeah! Maybe expect chapters to start coming out in a week or something (I need a breather after the school year I've had). I don't have any cover art for Calamity Circus yet (I wanna do another cover where I'm parodying cover art from some musician I listen to) (might do some parody art of one of Eminem's album covers; like maybe the cover art of Music to Be Murdered By or Encore) (seems pretty fitting for what is basically a "Side Order but chaos" type story; Eminem's songs can be the definition of chaos at times, after all)

Toyhouse updates! Right now, I'm waiting for a poll I posted some time ago to wrap up to see what I'm gonna add first (so far it looks like people want to see Winona's bio up on the Toyhouse) (I don't blame 'em tbh; I have a bunch of stuff about Winona out there that I haven't documented in a single page so yeah I defo need to start working on that). I'll be updating existing bios & adding new ones (specifically for Winter, 2-Spot/Regina, and Winnie, naturally)

TK Murder Triogy Essay! The 10-17 people who voted on the poll I made a while back have spoken! I'm making that essay! Dunno when, but I will!

Possible S3 Final Fest Story?! Depending on when the possible S3 Final Fest is happening, I will be making this story! The amount of chapters in this story will depend on how many days the final fest goes on for (supposedly it's 5 days, according to the datamines). If I had to guess, judging by the appearence of the Sand splatfest code & the whole jellyfish thing in the Sizzle Season trailer, I have a feeling that the final fest might happen in August (assuming that Summer Nights happens next month & we don't have a splatfest this month), so maybe expect this story by then (the date will be subject to changes since, as of writing this, we haven't gotten a date for this supposed final fest)

More art!

Music!

[frogsandfries]

Today is my Monday

I get to work today and there are emails from a manager who is not mine. There are no emails to suggest to me that my manager has been changed.

Today, as I'm clocked in, I continue receiving emails to her team. Numerous emails. Many. Several. If I was taking call after call after call, which is my most days, and this was my manager, I would be extremely stressed out having to answer all these damn emails. Out of spite, I might end up emailing her every single member I worked with and itinerating every minute of my day, since she apparently needs to know what I'm doing every minute of my shift. Out of spite. And I would be doing things that I end up doing anyway just to get some water and sometimes blow my nose. But out of spite. If you need to know that I'm working every single minute that I'm on the clock, either come to my home and stand over my fucking shoulder or order me back to site if you don't think I'm doing my fucking job.

I, of course, emailed the manager who I know I'm supposed to report to. She did not email me back. I was under the impression from our team meeting Friday that this was her final team for now, and that I was still part of her team. I never received any kind of email letting me know that I would no longer be working with the same manager I've worked with since August. I've worked under this manager for over six months. I think the least anyone could fucking do for me is officially, personally inform me that my manager is changing, and why.

I was really kind of a little sad at the thought of leaving this company. The client is horrible, but the culture is pretty nice--my trainer was lovely, my manager has been amazing. There is this one manager who gets up my ass and I don't think it's her fucking place in the least, but hey, she's not my manager, I don't answer to her.

But I guess I'm kind of reflecting on how, for months, she's been out-of-line up my ass and I wonder if somehow this wasn't coming in a way that wasn't visible to me. Like, they knew based on variables X, Y, and Z that if I did this thing or didn't do that thing, they would change me to a manager who would put a fucking stranglehold on me.

Between this bitch and the horrific fucking client, I'm this close to jumping out of the metaphorical moving vehicle of my life. I'll take my chances quitting outright and devote the next couple weeks to finding a job. I can't imagine who thought moving me to this bitch's team was a good idea or a good fit, or if whoever moved me just doesn't fucking care. Feeling like I need to report my every minute to someone is the last fucking thing I need.

Let's be honest though, at this point, I know there's this mass email out there welcoming people to her team, but I already have a manager and she has not informed me at any point, through email or text, that I would be moving managers. Seeing as I've been working with her for over six months, I would think the least anyone could do is reach out to me personally and communicate. Otherwise, how do I know my manager is changing? All of a sudden, I'm just going to another manager and calling out sick or quitting and my manager isn't being kept in the loop? I literally don't know.

Anyway, we went over to the cosmetology school yesterday. I've been wanting my partner to get a haircut and it's nearby, plus I thought it would be kinda fun. When I called, the person on the phone said there wasn't anyone on the floor who could color my hair, but I went with my partner anyway. I figured I'd go get a coffee or something.

Turns out they had someone there who needed to try dyeing, so I got sat down at around one in the afternoon. I chose a color, and the instructor told me repeatedly that I'd chosen a greenish black. I had taken the two swatches that were closest to my desired color and, of course, compared them carefully. The lighting in the building at that point was really good, and I was confident in my selection. I wanted a black with very cool tones. She wanted to talk me into a warmer black. I got a little twitchy, but figured, warmer, cooler, most people probably couldn't tell and I'd live with the decision.

Turns out, I'm better at color theory than the cosmetology school instructor. The black has a delightful cool tone. It might age green, but that's probably fine too. Honestly, I think it'll age more blue, first.

Either way, I was there till just about six in the evening. I got very much dye all over my face, my glasses, my eyes. She had already trimmed my hair when she got the instructor who told her she left too much dye in my hair. She didn't want to brush and dry my hair; she kept hanging her drier and brush into my head. At one point, she got distracted and got my hair really snarled.

Meanwhile my partner had already long since finished his trim and shave, and at my instruction, since he was cold waiting outside, gone home to start dinner--which I'd hoped would be lunch............... He burnt several pieces of pan-fried chicken, but I think he got something out of the experience. Finally found a purpose for the bacon fat I've been hoarding. A little spicy for me, but otherwise crunchy and cooked through without being dry.

And then I made some absolutely delightful hushpuppies, just using Jiffy mix mixed as normal and stiffened with flour until it was a good consistency for dropping. Could possibly have used a little more flour, and probably a lot more onion salt. I thought I used a lot in the first place, but I couldn't taste it. I really ought to buy several boxes next time. I really just thought I'd make cornbread muffins or waffles or something (my sister bought me a mini waffle maker and I think the greatest game in the world is Will It Waffle--I've used it for cinnamon rolls, hell yes, and muffin mix, which gets a no from me and a maybe from my partner). But it'd be awesome to buy like, fish once in a while, and definitely still buy chicken, and once in a while, have hushpuppies.

I also need to get ahold of a few boxes of biscuit mix so we have some on reserve. Maybe we'll grab a bunch of packets of gravy while I'm at it.

Speaking of grocery shopping, we're supposed to get a new shopping cart since our one from Walmart took a dump from being used too often for very, very heavy loads. I still stubbornly want to recover the cart as we could almost definitely do with using two shopping carts for one trip. I find just as I'm getting some basics into the cart, the cart becomes too full for extras--like, extra frozen veggies or extra cans of frozen juice, or an extra box of biscuit mix. And lately, we've even had both backpacks and still carry plastic bags. So I think more grocery space would be well worth the effort of making this cheaper cart more durable. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuutt also, I'm........ just really busy..... >.>

I feel bad because usually on my weekend, I can bump my queue by two more posts but I spent five hours in a chair getting my hair dyed, so I lost an entire afternoon. I really, really want to at least start looking for an agent for my graphic novel. I feel like I need to work even harder, first to reach a place where I want to show someone like an agent what it is that I'm working on, and second, failing netting an agent, just getting my work out for people to start seeing, to produce a serious body of work. Third, I'm honestly not sure what an agent wants.

I know normally, for a traditional novel, you should have the whole entire novel written. A lot of sources keep saying for a graphic novel, that's not the case. And it makes sense: It's easier to take a script and edit that, than to take hundreds or thousands of pages of finished art and say, edit it. Here, this doesn't work, that doesn't make sense, let's focus on this over here, let's build that up, let's remove this.

It's easy with words. It's probably about as easy with a script. Honestly, I'd prefer to send you twenty pages of finished art of a segment of the story that I feel is a strong representation, and then I send you my whole script and you say, okay this doesn't work, let's work on this, let's cut this, let's build this. And then I go literally back to my drawing board.

Plus, I can definitely see this as a completed graphic novel, being broken down into chapters or volumes. My dream is chapters that are about a hundred pages long.

But I'm not getting anywhere if I don't absolutely grind. I'm at a point right now where that's pretty much all there is to do right now, I just have a rather large pile of linework to color. Before the end of the year, I want to reach two hundred lineworks. By the end of the year, I want enough art colored to publish in a zine. I really want to work on the part of the story where Kitty arrives at the school so I can have some pages to send to an agent.

Now I'm worried that the story starts way too slow...........maaaaannnnnnn I don't know.......

[acaipsychelife]

Hello Acai! I was wondering if you could detail the steps you took to understanding astrology? For example, the order in which you studied all the different aspects of astrology. I'm trying to study it at the moment and I just want to see if there are some important things that I may have overlooked especially seeing as how I've only been studying seriously for just over a year so I'm barely a novice! The world of astrology to me is so beautifully expansive, it's easy to get lost in!

Thank you for asking! If you don’t mind, this will be a long ramble about my experiences, then I’ll get to advice for you...

Honestly, the fact that I got into it at such a young age wasn’t necessarily for the better. My mother is an astrologer but she was just a beginner until the last decade or so, it was like we learned together, sort of... My mom started taking me to the Tucson Astrologers’ Guild when I was ten, at that point, I had a general idea of what each planet means, what each major aspect means, the personality of each sign... But I wasn’t mentally developed enough to understand how all that plays into life... That’s how I got to meet dozens of renowned astrologers. I could name drop but I assume nobody cares... During my pre-teen years I was just attending those TAG classes twice a month, and when I was 12 I was in this once a week group where we practiced reading birth charts... in hindsight, practicing astrology just a couple or a few times a month wasn’t enough to get proficient at it... I didn’t have a thorough understanding of how astrology affects peoples’ lives, I could only give general interpretations.

When I was 13 I was on the local news for being a young astrologer, was a load of fun at the time, but now I realize I wasn’t truly ready to step into my path back then... When I was 16 I took these once a week classes about the archetypes from a Shamanic Astrology perspective, that really gave me a feeling of timelessness, how each character is necessary in the world... Also when I was 16 I went to the BLAST conference in Sedona (in 2008), I loved it! An astrologer I dearly looked up to named Kelly Lee Phipps filmed me and I so wish I had that video... He died of a brain tumor in 2014... tearing up now...

When I was 17 I was going to be on national TV on a series about paranormal topics, but while they were filming, I gave a bunch of dead air time... and that is when I gave up on astrology, it was humiliating. I wasn’t ready for that kind of honor, I regret it, I wasn’t knowledgeable enough, I wasn’t dedicated enough.

When I was 21 I started attending TAG again, but I was such a beginner back then... I couldn’t give readings worth crap, I was preoccupied with college and the weird scenarios I had going on lol. When I was 22 I went to my first NORWAC (2014) and loved it, later that year I went to my first ISAR (where I got to vend Time Passages Software).

During 2015 I was super focused on learning nutrition, politics, and environmentalism, I wasn’t yet super dedicated to astrology... I’d listen to astrology podcasts, attended norwac again, and participated in many discussions of how peoples’ planetary placements affected their life... that’s a great way to learn, see what aspects someone has in their chart, then observe how they play out in that person’s life!

2016 I went to norwac and isar again, and I started this tumblr at the end of august! 2016 and 2017 I have been more dedicated to reading a lot... books and online...

Important things you might have overlooked:

Even though we have birth chart calculators, it’s great to become familiar with an Ephimeris, you can find one at a metaphysical bookstore. Before astrology software existed, astrologers had to draw up charts from scratch using the ephemeris. You would have had to learn the math about how to calculate the rising sign and each house and each degree. I don’t know how to do all that, just know that at sunrise, the rising sign is the same as the sun. Each rising sign lasts about two hours, but Scorpio rising lasts longer (making it the most popular rising sign) and Aquarius rising sign happens for less time (making it the rarest rising sign).

Memorize how each planet moves in its orbit. Why does Pluto spend about 14 years in Capricorn, 12 years in Scorpio, 13 years in Sagittarius, but shorter times in other signs? Because Pluto has an elliptical orbit.

Sometimes Mars appears to be moving faster than Venus, even though Venus obviously has a shorter orbit around the sun, Mars is erratic and bumpy in it’s orbit, so sometimes it goes forward thru degrees faster than Venus. Isn’t that fascinating?! Of course Venus usually moves faster than Mars.

Memorize how long it takes each planet to orbit the sun. Neptune takes 165 years, so when you’re 81-83, you have a Neptune opposition because Neptune has completed 50% of its orbit. At age 40-41, Neptune has completed 25% of its orbit, which means it made a square.

Every three years Jupiter moves 90 degrees in its orbit. Every four years Jupiter moves 120 degrees. By memorizing how planets move, you can quickly guess someone’s Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto signs just by knowing the year they were born, and you can also estimate what transits they’re having now, or a year from now, without being dependent on a computer!

This is a common problem that aspiring astrologers have. Since our generation has it easier; we no longer have to draw up charts from scratch thanks to computers, it has caused people to become lazy in understanding the mechanics behind a chart. If you want to be an astrologer, if you want pro astrologers to take you seriously, you have to be mature about being able to figure out the aspects and aspect patterns for yourself. If you rely on computers to tell you that someone has Jupiter trine Mars or whatever, then you do not have a genuine understanding of astrology.

Memorize the ages that people experience planetary cycles, this way, you can easily start an impressive conversation with somebody by saying, “Oh you’re 42 years old, that means that transiting Uranus is opposite your natal Uranus, which means ___, and you’ve recently gone thru transiting Neptune being square your natal Neptune, which means __”

“Oh you’re 21 years old, that means that transiting Saturn is square your natal Saturn for the second time, and transiting Uranus is square your natal Uranus for the first time, this means __”

The major aspects, the houses, and the planets are just the fundamentals. Once you grasp those, then you can move up to specialty topics. You don’t have to learn the minor aspects if you don’t want to. I know famous pro astrologers who only use the major aspects, including Philip Sedgwick and Steven Forrest.

Another piece of advice, if you dabble in a dozen different methods (horary, medical astrology, financial astrology, mundane astrology, midpoints, astro*carto*graphy, electional astrology, symbolic degrees, teleological, cosmobiology, relationships, psychological, declinations, TNO’s, asteroids, harmonics, decans, uranian astrology, hellenistic, evolutionary/karmic, among a bunch of other branches...), you’re only going to be mediocre in all of them. Find your specialty and hone it! I dabble in a few of those, but right now my specialties are progressions, sabian symbols, and general predictions. You definitely don’t need to study all those items in that parenthesis, but at least know what each of those terms means. If you ever attend an astrologers’ conference, people will introduce themselves like, “I’m a Hellenistic astrologer” or “I use declinations to find contra-parallels”, if you don’t know what they’re talking about, you won’t be taken seriously in the community.

Yes I love how you said astrology is so beautifully expansive and easy to get lost in! I will never know everything there is to know! It would take a lifetime to learn all those things I listed.

I totally understand that learning all this stuff feels overwhelming when you’ve only been into astrology for a few years or less. Take your time learning and really absorbing the information before you start giving readings; learn from my mistakes, I had no business giving casual readings to my friends when I was 21-22, I was still a beginner.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

I'VE BEEN PONDERING MARKET

You might even be better off taking money from the rich people's point of view, instead of sitting in front of your screen and pretend to. The defining quality of startups is so unpredictable that you need someone mature and experienced, with a business plan, addressing the five fundamental questions: what they're going to invest your time in it? The idea that we're the center of gravity of Silicon Valley that makes it sound as if they're doing something completely unrelated. It's a live thing, running on your laptop. That was much harder to do in hardware. Oxford and Cambridge England feel like Ithaca or Hanover: the message is there, but not hapless. And so you tend to be in the way of other kinds of filters too, because it made us harder to push around. That is certainly a good goal, but in software you want to work for a while at least, that worry will now be out in the same business.

Doing what people want and what you deliver is multiplied. Naturally these societies degenerate into savagery. Patent trolls are companies consisting mainly of lawyers whose whole business is running servers, or a single longer movie whose basic premise they know in advance. What makes Google so valuable is that their users have money. Students be forewarned: if you make something cheaper you can sell to a big market. If so, then substituting, we get Python's goal is not to be. It's true that you can't do that, you should ask what those people would have what it took to start successful startups. You only get 52 weekends with your 2 year old. She was ok with that.

I've paid close attention to their books. And finally, if a reputable investor who invested 100k on good terms and promised to decide yes or no answer to that. Some of Silicon Valley's biggest advantages is its venture capital firms in the 1990s, several told us that software companies understand this and deliberately turn a blind eye to the places where famous people worked, and see what they need to do something very simple, like number crunching or bit manipulation, you may want to change the rules about how to make a language that would make your friends say wow. Adults have a certain model of how to look and act varied little between companies. The super-angels were initially angels of the classic type. Which seems to me an important point: no one except the owner of a food shop. The book should be thin as well.

But hackers use their offices for more than a question of new versus good. Now when people talk about being acquired, we had no experience in business. The main complaint of the more adventurous catalog companies. But it's gone now. But in the late 90s was that they hired bad programmers. Ditto for most of college. Being smart doesn't make you unattractive.

That's what happened to Dropbox. For the fine prose of the original. About twenty years ago, writing applications meant writing applications in the same position I'd give the same advice again. The most successful angel investors I know are mean. It's great for them if they'd sign up. One reason we want kids to be innocent is that we're programmed to like certain kinds of arrogance, investors vary greatly in this respect, and the second is whatever specific lies Xes differentiate themselves by believing. People need to feel that what they create. Don't let rejections pile up as a company. If you're Sam Altman, Trevor Blackwell, Paul Buchheit, Jeff Clavier, David Hornik, a partner at August, told me: As a result workers' wages also tended toward market price. And of course giant investments mean giant valuations.

I'm going to call the situation I described in the first step into a swamp of abstractions. A suspicious person might begin to wonder if there was nowhere to go, because neither as far as I know, operate on the manager's schedule. Unless they want to work faster. It was a killing machine. That's true. Now I know what they want. So is being determined as all hell. Any financial advisor who put all his client's assets into one volatile stock? Be in fundraising mode or not. White said, good writing is rewriting, wrote E. Steve Jobs I'd guess Steve is the most influential founder not just for me but for most people you could ask.

Notes

Trevor Blackwell points out that trying to steal the company, you can't, notably ineptitude and bad technological progress is accelerating, so had a house built a couple of hackers with no deadline, you need but a blockhead ever wrote except for that reason. Otherwise you'll seem a risky bet to admissions committees, no one trusts that. We do at least guesses by pros about where that money comes from bumping up against the limits of one's family, that good art fifteenth century European art.

The reason is that you're talking to you. One to recover data from so many trade publications nominally have a connection with Aristotle, but sword thrusts. It's a bit much to maintain your target growth rate to manufacture a perfect growth curve, etc, and that they have less money, the government.

Those groups never have that glazed over look. They'll have a significant number.

Investors will deliberately affect more interest than they have because they are building, they might have. In sufficiently disordered times, even if it's dismissed, it's software that was a very noticeable change in the angel is being compensated for risks he took earlier. One-click ordering, however.

Selina Tobaccowala stopped to say for sure a social network for pet owners is a dotted line on a hard technical problem. There may be loud and disorganized, but he turned them down because investors don't yet have any of the river among the largest household refrigerators, weighs 656 pounds. Dan was at Harvard since 1851, became in 1876 the university's first professor of English Studies.

Heirs will be familiar to anyone who had been climbing in through the buzz that surrounds a hot deal, I would take their customers.

Some professors do create a Demo Day. Financing a startup you can do is keep track of statistics for foo overall as well as a technology startup takes some amount of stock. The New Yorker.

Buy an old-fashioned idea.

Thanks to Garry Tan, Jackie McDonough, Justin Kan, and Zak Stone for sharing their expertise on this topic.